Hey Queen,

There is a war happening all around us, a personal battle we’re all fighting whether or not we realize it. Our devices have stolen our attention, our peace of mind, our values and ultimately – our lives. It’s time to take our power back by creating more than we consume.  

I have a friend who’s been sober for 9 months now. Alcohol was the ultimate numbing mechanism for her, like it is for many. She’s been leaning on a different, less toxic vice in its place these days –  nicotine. She says she wants to quit the vape pen too, but her insides feel itchy when she goes too long without it and she’s just not ready to deal with that, too. I’ve never been addicted to a substance (other than refined sugar) but I believe I understand what she means when she says “itchy insides.” 

This is the sensation I feel when I find myself reaching for my phone, tapping random icons and scrolling mindlessly, without making any conscious decisions to do so.

It’s like an external force takes over, like something else has programmed my mind to attach my body to these devices. I watch my thumbs navigate the screen, closing my email just to click it open again immediately, as if I’m having an out of body experience. Observing this for longer than a few seconds makes me feel heavy and itchy inside, like I’m trapped in my own body and out of control. 

This addiction makes me want to scream, throw my phone across the room and run outside to let fresh oxygen flood my lungs. When I do, it feels incredible. 

Scrolling is not living. Watching hours of curated entertainment is not living. When did it become more normal to “live vicariously through others” than to pursue your own dreams?

 I’ve never enjoyed watching Youtube vloggers travel and live extravagant lives because it also makes me itchy inside. I used to shame myself for the “envy” it made me feel to watch highly successful people do awesome things, but I realize now it was only envy around the edges, not at the core. What I felt at the core was an intolerance for complacency and an urge to create. Watching others embody their power instead of spending that time and headspace embodying my own pressed a button in me that said that’s for you, too… so go. 

My husband, Alex, loves to listen to podcasts. He’s an auditory learner and is clinically diagnosed with ADHD, so listening to something he finds interesting while doing chores, driving, and even working out is a great focus tool. He used to assume I never want to listen to podcasts in the car because I don’t like the sound of loud masculine voices… and to be fair I don’t. But the real reason is because something will inspire me to start creating and I’ll end up feeling trapped and itchy when I’m not in the environment to take action. 

To deny my urge to throw paint at the walls is to put a wild animal in a cage. 

Because of these intolerable feelings of trapped inspiration, I created a mantra that gives me permission to channel inspiration and creativity at any time: Stop, drop and flow. This is how I trust and lean deeper into God’s abundant, extraordinary plans for my life. Instead of bottling up the ideas for later as if they’re from a finite supply, I trust that there are more on the way from a never ending flow. Instead of feeling guilty for leaving the present moment to create, I see creation as engulfing myself even more deeply in the present. 

In doing this my creativity has become a steady river flow instead of a fleeting summer’s rain, and just like beavers relentlessly build dams, my addiction to my phone clogs the creative flow and floods my internal world with thoughts and feelings that have nowhere else to go. 

They leak out into my life in unwarranted, damaging ways: I am more distracted and prone to procrastination. My emotions overtake and derail the day before I realize I need to process. What I mean to say can’t find its way through my mouth no matter how hard I try to articulate. I second guess myself and slip into loops of social anxiety. I feel perpetually misunderstood and can’t get close enough to the people I love, because when I’m consuming more than I’m creating I feel far away from myself.

This is why I started throwing my phone across the room – to give the Stop, drop and flow mindset a supportive space to be embodied without distractions. 

I do not need to scroll through Tik Tok and Reels to get inspired – I need to put paint on a canvas or words on the page or flowers in the ground. 

I do not need to watch Ginny & Georgia for the fourth time to find comfort and rest – I need to stare at the sky and breathe into my belly. 

I do not need to always be learning more to grow and succeed – I need to try over and over and let failure be my teacher. 

When I choose to swim against the current by living more presently, life becomes much lighter and easier than I thought it could be. The freedom I desire so deeply moves from being something I see up ahead to something I hold innately within. When I unleash it, I step into the realm of infinite possibility. 

What opportunities, adventures and revelations could your devices be blocking you from? How much more free and light could you feel if all your thoughts and emotions had a safe space to flow to instead of flooding your internal world?

 I believe humans are made in the image of God and that the Spirit dwells within each of us, like our DNA. I’m talking about the same God that created Arizona sunsets, mountaintop views, the northern lights, and the miracle of human life. 

God is the Great(est) Creator, a masterful artist whose work is beyond what the human mind can fathom. Therefore, it must be true that we were put here to create, so when we don’t… we lose our sense of purpose and life becomes prosaic and monotonous instead of invigorating and wondrous. We’ve all felt the suffocation of  life without purpose – it goes against everything that we are.

So when we throw our phones across the room and let the river of creative inspiration flow through us, we take our God given power and purpose back. 

This is your call, this is your moment to open up to the ways God wants to flow through YOU, whether it be through the dinner you cook tonight or a new project in your business… It’s time to create and reconnect with your deepest purpose. If you aren’t sure where to begin, start by throwing your phone across the room and following your first curiosity. God will take it from there. 

Cheers to your newest creation

Xo – Kari 

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The Hey Queen Blog

A collective of soulful stories and encouraging letters written to anchor women with big dreams into the joy

of today while inspiring tomorrow!